How to Watch a BCS Bowl Game

I get sick of the bowl system, but then again, that's nothing new. Everyone hates it. Everyone knows that it's not a fair or accurate system. Everyone knows that it's controlled by money. Everyone knows that none of that money goes to the players. Instead, it goes to old white men who refuse to hire black coaches and have no problem exploiting the black guys on the field. A 20 year old kid breaks his neck, and after a few minutes of silence, we hear: "We'll be back after this message from our sponsors."

I don't give a damn about Tositos. But I am trained like a hamster to say "Tostitos Fiesta Bowl". I don't give a damn about any of the bowl games, because they mean nothing. The only game that sort of means anything is the championship.

The marketing works. They convince us that winning the Rose Bowl is a lifetime achievement award. The player wins the silly bowl game and the poor guy is running up and down the field with a rose in his mouth as if he's on his way to Disney Land. Doesn't he realize that this is just another game against a ranked opponent?

Only the championship means anything, and even that's a big ol lie.

My alma mater, Ohio State, has slipped its way into another title game. I hope they win, and I am excited. But truth be told, there are at least 8 other teams that have just as much of a right to be in that game. What's best for the Buckeyes is that they don't have to prove they belong. The computer did it for them.

Imagine if college basketball titles were decided the same way as football titles. The number one and number two teams go at it, and everyone else is left to play in some silly, corporate sponsored consolation game. Roy Williams and the Kansas Jayhawks, according to my calculations, would have won 4 or 5 titles during the 1990s. Each year, they entered the tournament as the number one seed, only to get pimp slapped in the first or second round.

Imagine that. They had to prove it on the court.

I can't lie, I love a good college football game. The black athlete is just too amazing for us to ignore...and the other athletes are very good too. Game must be respected. So, I've come up with a formula for how I watch bowl games without being duped by the stupidity of it all:

1) I TIVO EVERYTHING - By using my trusty DVR, I am able to fast forward through every single commercial, killing their ability to mash my brain with one commercial after another. A 4 hour game is shrunk to 60 minutes of hardcore football. I am also able to skip the retarded analysis that swears Tim Tebow is Jesus and that the good ol boy hired ahead of all the talented black coaches is the brilliant mastermind who deserves to make $2 million a year while the guys doing all the work get nothing.

2) I Pay VERY LITTLE ATTENTION TO THE MEANINGLESS GAMES - If it happens to be on and it's good, I'll watch. But again, only the championship has meaning. You can hype a bowl to me all day long, but I know that it's just another game.....even if the word "Outback" has been added to the title. If the game would not be interesting during the regular season, it's not interesting to me during the post season.

3) I IGNORE THE AWARDS - The Heisman means nothing, since it's only a paper tiger award created by the media. The best player in college football is the top player chosen in the NFL draft....period. Heisman trophy winner Tim Tebow got "tamponed" in his game against mediocre Michigan, so he is clearly not the best player in the game. Had Tebow been black, he would have not even been a Heisman candidate.

That is how I get through this silly concoction called NCAA football. It's a damn lie, a travesty of fairness and a corrupt corporate machine that does a huge disservice to its fans, the players and the American public.

It gets old real fast.